Two months ago, “Little Apple” by The Chopsticks Brothers (小平果 – 筷子兄弟) won the International Song Award at the AMAs. It had already spread like huo huo huo huo all over China, and it was ready to take over the world. Kind of.

As far as I can tell, none of my non-China friends have ever heard of this song. (Have you?) Well, it’s time to change that. Let’s get you on the catchy bandwagon, shall we?

Step 1 – Get the song and images stuck in your head

Here’s the original video. Don’t let the beginning conversation in Korean throw you, this really is the music video for the song. And it’s bizarre, so just hang all the way through it. Follow the apple. Remember that this video is supposed to be funny.

Step 2 – Learn the moves

If you want to be super-hip, you’re gonna wanna learn the official dance moves. All the cool kids are doing it. (Possibly including me and my children.) Here’s the tutorial video. Even the dancing nai-nais who exercise outside of my window have this song in their routine, though their moves are, um…tempered for age.

Step 3 – Learn the lyrics

For all you Mandarin students out there, here’s the video with the characters and pinyin so you can learn to sing along. There are some mistakes, but hey, that’s part of the learning: spot the errors! (Even if you aren’t learning Mandarin, don’t you want to be able to sing along and impress your friends?!?)

Step 4 – Learn what the lyrics mean

And lastly, here’s an English translation of the song (there are two versions).

So, there you have it. Promises of strolling among flowers and stargazing together, weirdly-acted versions of well-known love stories, catchy music, and awesome dance moves. What’s not to love?

“Ni shi wo de xiao ya xiao pingguo!”

Waffles, darts, and Valentine’s Day

Smokin’ pot outside everyone’s home (wait, that sounds wrong)

12 times Taobao made my eyes bleed